


Disconnected

by Antoinette95



Series: Dreams [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Adorable Naruto Uzumaki, Anal Sex, Angst, Cute Kids, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Family Feels, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Meddling Friends, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Single father Kakashi Hatake (sort of), Stalking, Sweet Kakashi Hatake, Therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:13:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25506499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antoinette95/pseuds/Antoinette95
Summary: Time was what they needed, and time was they got. Now, several months following their explosive parting, Iruka and Kakashi are trying to get their lives back on track. For the most part, things are going well, but things can never be simple for either man. Kakashi finds himself battling his duties as a father to Shisui, a child he barely knows, while Iruka is trying to hold on to the boy he'd sworn to love and protect. Somehow, in the midst of it all, they find their way back to one another. But for how long?
Relationships: Hagane Kotetsu/Kamizuki Izumo, Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka, Jiraiya/Tsunade (Naruto), Maito Gai | Might Guy/Mitarashi Anko, Nara Shikamaru/Uzumaki Naruto, Nohara Rin/Yamato | Tenzou
Series: Dreams [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1744117
Comments: 9
Kudos: 45





	1. One

**I'm baaaaaaack! Okay, so obviously this isn't an official chapter, BUT the first real chapter will be up on Friday July 31st so be on the look out! I'm so excited to bring this story to you guys, and I hope you're ready for the roller coaster I'm about to take you on! Also, if you haven't read the first part, Disenchanted, you really should. Things won't make sense otherwise. Anyway, I'm glad to be back writing for you all again! So what do _you_ think will happen as the story progresses? :3**


	2. Chapter One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! :3 
> 
> Also, this is unbeta'ed, which is why it took so long to upload!

_ “I need you to forgive me, Kara.” His arms wrapped around her waist and he kissed her stomach. “I was wrong, and I’m sorry. I’ll apologize everyday if that’s what it takes to get you back-” _

_ “Oh, Shirato, don’t-” _

_ “I have to make you understand. I  _ **_ need  _ ** _ you to understand.” Shirato stood shakily to his feet and pulled Kara against him. He held her hips firmly as he backed the young woman against the wall. “I-I  _ **_ can’t  _ ** _ keep pretending that you mean nothing to me, Kara. I lo-” _

_ Kara wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his mouth against her own, swallowing his confession. She didn’t want to hear him say  _ **_ I love you.  _ ** _ She’d never stopped loving him, but forgiveness was too hard for her. The pain twisted in her heart, the love and the hurt entwined. And yet, there she stood enveloped in broiling passion that frighteningly quailed her own, on the precipice of beautiful sin.  _

_ Shirato moaned into her mouth and brought one hand up to tangle in her golden hair. He pulled gently, earning himself a breathless whimper. Her hands flew to the buttons on his shirt, pulling at them frantically. She roughly pushed his shirt from his shoulders, his golden skin hot to the touch. Her mouth moved from his lips to his chest, nipping gently at his skin one moment, only to suck fiercely another. Shirato gasped under her mini- _

__ “You’ve got to be kidding me.” Kakashi sighed and reluctantly looked up from his book after marking his page. Genma and  Raidō stood over him, arms laden with folders and precariously stacked papers. The shorter man was scowling exasperatedly at the book in his hands as if it’d personally offend him. “Do you really have to read that trash in the office, Kakashi?” 

Kakashi feigned indignation. “Trash?! I’ll have you know that  **_ Icha Icha Paradise: Killing Fear  _ ** is by far the best in the series, and most certainly  _ not  _ trash,” he explained, waving the book at him. “It’s the pinnacle of fine literature I tell you!” 

Genma raised an eyebrow skeptically. “Oh yeah? How many chapters feature an over the top, unrealistic, explicit sex scene?” 

“Hmmm…if I had to guess, I’d say about thirty.” 

He blinked wide eyed at him for a moment before shaking his head. “And how many chapters are there overall?” he sighed exasperatedly. 

Kakashi pretended to think for a minute, enjoying the impromptu game. “Thirty,” he answered brightly. 

Genma pursed his lips, cheeks reddening. He seemed unsure of what to say to that, as well as embarrassed to have even broached the subject.  Raidō ’s reaction was similar. He fidgeted beside Genma and mumbled something unintelligible. Kakashi fought back a triumphant smile, pleased with their reactions. He’d read the entire  **_ Icha  _ ** **_ Icha _ ** **_ Paradise _ ** series more than once, and could recite most if not all of them verbatim. At this point, he read them mostly to glean reactions from his coworkers, especially people as easily riled up as  Raidō . 

After a moment or so, Genma regained his composure and fixed him with a hard glare. “Regardless of how much you like that… _ book,”  _ he wrinkled her nose distastefully, “you shouldn’t read it in front of the boardroom. Tsunade would skin you alive if she ever found out.” 

_ If only you knew that Tsunade finished the series long before I did,  _ Kakashi thought. “Okay, okay,” he faux pouted. “I  _ guess  _ I can wait until after our meeting.” 

“Good,” he replied as he ducked into the room,  Raidō hastening to follow. 

Kakashi settled back onto his perch and opened his book, intent to pick up where he’d left off. Five minutes later however, he still hadn’t progressed further than Shirato and Kara passionately embracing, his mind straying to his brief conversation with Tenzou and Anko earlier that morning warning him about the upcoming meeting.

It had been a little less than a month since the last time Kakashi was forced to entertain the board members, and that had only been after Tsunade had threatened him bodily harm. It went without saying that the experience had been thoroughly unenjoyable, and he was loath to repeat it **.  ** As **** it was, he was reluctantly waiting for their quarterly meeting to begin, irritated but unable to decline their summons. With Tsunade gone on a much needed vacation, it was Kakashi’s job to keep the company running as smoothly as possible, not that it was going to be easy. It was taking everything he had to keep the board members from completely dismantling everything Tsunade had established. 

Another few minutes passed before he figured he’d waited long enough. Maybe, if he were lucky, he’d pissed  Danzō off enough to have them cancel the meeting. Kakashi looked around the room lazily, noting everyone in attendance. Gai and  Tenzou sat to the left of the door, heads bowed in deep conversation. Their eyes flickered to him as he entered, and they nodded tersely in greeting. He returned the gesture and closed the door tightly behind him. He noted Anko, Genma, and  Raidō , sitting rigidly to the right. They wore identical stone-faced masks as they glared at the people directly across from them. 

Kakashi frowned and forced himself to assess  Danzō and the two assistants he’d brought with him. The man sat directly beside  Mitokado , a contemptuous sneer firmly rooted on his face. It was clear to all in attendance, that he held high hopes for how the meeting would go. The men he’d brought with him were men that Kakashi had never seen before, and he found that to be more irritating than  Danzō u calling the stupid meeting in the first place.

Tsunade would never have allowed the men to be there, and the fact that the other board members would condone such behavior was appalling. Then again, they had always favored  Danzō . Kakashi didn’t bother looking at either of the other members, not trusting himself to hold his tongue. He plopped down into the chair beside Anko’s. 

“Now that Kakashi has decided to join us,”  Danzō u began, eyes piercing, “we can begin going over this quarter’s numbers. I must say that I am unimpressed so far. The new contracts aren’t yielding the same profits we’d predicted for this quarter.” 

Kakashi clenched his fists beneath the table and bit the inside of his cheek to keep from speaking out of turn.  _ Of course, you’d think that, you wrinkly old bastard!  _ That had been one of the points they’d argued about the most. To them, profits were more important than the company’’s reputation. If they had it their way, only exorbitantly wealthy companies would be able to contract with them, regardless of how they retained their wealth. 

Anko exhaled exasperatedly and looked at the older man warily. She’d of course known how the board was going to attack them, and since her department handled the data, the heat would fall onto her shoulders especially. “I appreciate your concern  Danzō , but as I’ve already explained, we can’t limit our clientele to big companies. They may be more capable of keeping us on the payroll if the economy turns, but our success is built on the relationship we’ve developed with these starter companies. The more clients we get with our smaller packages, the more exposure we get and the more larger companies we attract.”

Danzō u waved her. “ _ I  _ have said from the start that this company can do much better than the riff-raff we allow to advertise our brand. These new “economy” packages you’ve been offering are doing nothing but slowing business.” 

Anko shot the man a fiery glare, her fingers twitching around the pen she was holding. “Tsunade included those packages in response to the number of new tech companies moving into the area. Giving them a taste of what we have to offer is much better than offering a price that they can’t afford just yet.” Kakashi had to admire the restraint she had in not calling the man a fucking idiot like she proboably wanted to. 

The man narrowed his eyes and leered at the irritable woman. “Yes, we know  _ all  _ about that ridiculous idea she concocted to undermine my suggestion of bringing in better business.” He cast a dark glare at Kakashi. “And then  _ Hatake,”  _ he spat the name, “put his nose where it didn’t belong.”

Kakashi , who had remained silent until that point, was on his feet before he could think about it. “Only after you went behind her back and tried to  _ - _ ” 

“That is quite enough!”  Utatane barked sharply. Her muddy brown eyes  gazed scornfully at Iruka. “Sit down Kakashi and remember your place!” She turned to  Danzō , not even bothering to see if Kakashi complied. “And as for you  Danzō u -san, remember that this is Tsunade’s company. We are merely here to  _ assist _ her.” 

“Of course, Utatane,” he simpered, bowing his head. 

Satisfied, the gray-haired woman waved impatiently to Anko. “You may  continue child , and try to control yourself. As a department head, you should act a deal more professional.” 

Anko balled her hands into white knuckled fists and nodded stiffly. “Well then, let’s go over these numbers shall we?” 

*********************************************************

The tension in the air was palpable when they left the small room almost an hour later. Anko had pushed her chair back rather violently and stormed out of the room as soon as  Mitokado declared the meeting over. Genma rushed after her while  Raidō hastily gathered their charts and files.  Danzō , the smug bastard, took his time leaving, but not before stopping to leave Kakashi with parting words. 

“Glad to see you doing well, Mr. Hatake,” he said. The sentiment couldn’t have been more insincere. He sneered down at him. “I haven’t heard any more reports of your drunken workplace shenanigans.” 

Tenzou, who had just been making his way out, halted and glared at the elder man. Kakashi’s expression remained cool, indifferent. “Tsunade made me promise to behave myself until she gets back. I’m sure your spies will have something to tell you then.”

Danzō u’s lips twitched. “I see that you haven’t outgrown your arrogant ways.” His eyes narrowed. “Tsunade may coddle you, boy, but you would do well to remember that her power has its limits.” With that, he turned and walked out of the room. 

Tenzou was frowning, but he didn’t say anything until  Danzō u’s footsteps faded. “Please tell me there’s a way we can vote that bastard off of the board of directors?”

“I wish.” Kakashi sighed and pushed to his feet. “The old bastard has too much time on his hands.” 

“He won’t have much of it left if he keeps antagonizing Anko,”  Tenzou pointed out. During the meeting,  Danzō u had gone out of his way to needle the hot tempered woman. He’d probably hoped that she’d give the board good enough reason to have her removed as head of accounting. One less person on Tsunade’s side that he’d have to eliminate. 

“I wouldn’t complain,” Kakashi said with a shrug. 

“Yeah well let’s go make sure she doesn’t kill anyone in his place.” Tenzou gestured for Kakashi to lead the way. 

It was obvious that they’d given her too much of a head start, if the frantic flurry of interns and accounting staff was anything to go by. More than one person bumped into them with a hurried apology before scurrying off when they reached the fourth floor.  Raidō was half hidden behind several stacks of papers, muttering incoherently under his breath. He paused briefly when they passed his desk. 

“I wouldn’t go in there just yet,” he said, nodding at ANko’s office, “Genma’s been trying to calm her down.”

“Well, nothing like good friends to cheer her up!” Kakashi replied cheerily. 

Raidō looked pleadingly at  Tenzou . “He really is an idiot isn’t he?” 

Before he could answer, the door to Anko’s office slammed open and the woman in question barreled her way to the three men. Kakashi may have taken a precautionary step backwards as she bore down upon them.  Raidō immediately ducked back behind the mounds of paperwork he’d been tasked with. 

“What are you doing here?” Anko demanded. “He’s supposed to be working.” She shot  Raidō a murderous glare. “You’re supposed to be working,” she said through gritted teeth. 

Raidō visibly paled. “I was just-”

“Lay off Anko. He was working until we showed up,” Kakashi interrupted. 

Her eyes cut to him immediately. “And what  _ exactly  _ do you want? Don’t you think I have enough to deal with without having to deal with your shit? If it’s not work related, get out.” Anko spun on her heel and marched back into her office, slamming the door behind her for good measure. 

“So she’s in a good mood,” Kakashi commented. Smirking at Tenzou, he nodded at the door. “I’m going to try to cheer her up. Mind waiting around a bit.” 

His companion looked at him as if he had grown two heads. “Are you suicidal today? I thought we’ve talked about this.” 

Kakashi’s grin widened and he clapped his friend on the shoulder. “No worries. I’m sure I’ll survive.”

* * *

"I'm never…. doing …..this...again," Iruka grunted. He collapsed against the tower of boxes with a pathetic whimper. His eyes slipped closed of their own accord as he tried to catch his breath. 

"You are such a big baby 'Ru," Izumo said affectionately. There was a soft thump beside him and then Izumo was rubbing his shoulders. "You act like you've run a marathon or something."

Iruka glared at him through half lidded eyes. "No. I just carried an entire apartment up a flight of stairs," he croaked sarcastically. 

"I helped," Izumo pointed out. 

Iruka glared at him through half lidded eyes. "You carried one box, and it was the one with the linens." 

The other man laughed, not at all fazed by his friend's grumpiness. " _ And  _ I held the door for you while you carried yours." 

"Forgive me if I don't throw a parade in your honor." He straightened, groaning when his muscles protested. "Seriously though, I'm never moving again." 

Izumo clapped him lightly on the shoulder. "If Kotetsu and I have anything to say about it, you won't have to." 

Iruka looked around the cluttered space, at the sizable towers of what was essentially his and Naruto’s life packed away in boxes. It felt entirely different than when they’d first settled into the old apartment. He was frightened about what the coming months would bring, or shaken from the tragedy of losing his adoptive father and childhood home. For the first time in a while he felt safe and content. 

“I can’t thank you enough,” he whispered. “This is much more than I could ever thank you for.” 

“You don’t have to thank us ‘Ru,” Izumo said. “It was about time you got out of that hellhole, and this place was collecting dust anyway. If you hadn’t agreed to take it, it would have just sat here.” 

“I still don’t think it’s fair that I don't pay you guys any rent. A couple hundred a month won’t….You know what, nevermind,” he conceded when Izumo threw him a withering glare. This was clearly a battle he was not going to win anytime in the near future. 

“It’s really no big deal. We don’t need the extra income.” Izumo nudged Iruka’s shoulder and grinned. “Come on, let’s go check on Kotetsu and Naruto.” Iruka nodded and the men carefully stepped around the haphazardly placed boxes and left the apartment. Iruka didn’t bother locking it just yet; they were the only people in the bakery, after all. 

He could hear Naruto before they’d even reached the landing, and wasn’t surprised to see the teen excitedly prattling on about something while Shikamaru listened patiently. The brunette was smiling fondly at the blonde teenager, nodding when appropriate, and laughing every now and again. Iruka walked over, catching the tail end of whatever epic tale Naruto was spinning.

“---and then, Sakura punched him so hard he knocked over Mr. Rickters! I can’t believe Bushy Brows really tried to kiss her!” Naruto finished, tears in his eyes.

Shikamaru shook his head. “That’s Lee for you.”

Naruto jerked his chin up at Iruka. “Yeah, well, I just wish I was there to see it. I  _ would _ have if I hadn’t been grounded,” he added with a pout. 

Iruka cuffed him on the back of the head. “Yeah, and you wouldn’t have been grounded if you hadn’t lied to me about where you were last Friday.” 

Shikamaru snickered. Naruto at least had the decency to look chastised. “Right. Forgot about that.” 

“I’m sure you did,” he replied dryly. “Did you finish unloading the truck? Is all of your stuff upstairs?”

“Yeah. It wasn’t much,” Naruto shrugged. “Are we gonna eat soon? I’m hungry.” 

“As soon as Kotetsu is finished outside we are going to head out for some pizza. Shikamaru, do you need us to take you home?” 

The teens shared a quick glance. “Actually,” Naruto hesitated, “I was wondering if Shikamaru could spend the weekend with us. You know, to help us move in and stuff.” 

“Naruto-” he began with a sigh. 

“His parents are out of town, though!” Naruto interrupted hurriedly. “And his dad already said- Ow! Why’d you kick me?!” The boy rubbed at his shin while glaring across the table at his friend.

Iruka raised an eyebrow and looked between the two of them. Shikamaru was dutifully avoiding his eyes, but the tips of his ears were red. Clearly the two had planned this from the beginning. He should have suspected something was amiss when Shikamaru, possibly the laziest teenager alive, volunteered to help them move apartments.  _ Damn teenagers. _

Before he could respond, read as strangle his unruly ward and his best friend, Izumo and Kotetsu appeared at his side. “We’re all set!” Kotetsu beamed and dropped a set of keys into Iruka’s hand. “Are you boys hungry yet?” he asked the teens.

“Hell yeah!” Naruto shouted, jumping to his feet. 

“Language!” Iruka admonished sternly. 

“But that’s not even- Ow!” He threw Shikamaru a watery glare and rubbed his arm where the other boy had pinched him. “What was that for?!” 

Shikamaru stared back, unfazed. “Don’t be an idiot, Naruto. Apologize.” 

Naruto muttered something incoherent under his breath before biting out a completely insincere “My bad.” 

Pleased, Shikamaru draped his arm over Naruto’s shoulders and steered them outside, the adults following close behind. Iruka saw him as soon as he stepped out onto the sidewalk. He'd changed very little in five months. His dark eyes were just as frighteningly penetrating as the last time he'd been caught in their gaze. He was just as unfairly handsome too. 

Iruka stood rooted to the spot, heart thumping madly and throat tightening. “Kakashi.” 


	3. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Here's another chapter. It's shorter than normal, but more is on the way! I hope you enjoy!

Nothing about him had changed. The man was plain, average looking except for the horizontal scar running across his nose, and yet he was possibly the most beautiful thing Kakashi had seen in a long time. His eyes were still blessedly warm, as was his smile. His dark hair was pulled back from his face in a ponytail. The pair of gray sweatpants and oversized t-shirt hugged his slim frame in just the right way. Seeing Iruka was both a much needed reprieve, and a crushing blow. For one moment he allowed himself to just admire him, and tried not to let it bother him too much when the younger man froze upon seeing him. This was to be expected, he reminded himself. Their last meeting five months ago had been anything but cordial. 

“Kakashi.” The one word, _ his _ name, fell from Iruka’s lips like a prayer. It was spoken softly, whispered as if both fearful and awed. It was enough to paralyze Kakashi where he stood. The men stared each other down. They were only a few feet away, close enough for Kakashi to see the faint blush rising on Iruka’s cheeks, yet it may as well have been a chasm. 

_ Say something.  _ Kakashi swallowed around a lump in his throat and gave a two finger salute. “That’s me,” he said awkwardly.  _ Say anything else, idiot.  _ “How, uh, how have you been?”

Iruka’s face crumpled in confusion. “I’m….good….” he said slowly. 

“Oh! Well, that’s good.” And then they were staring at one another again in silence. Kakashi wasn’t sure how to proceed, hadn’t felt this uneven footed in what felt like a lifetime. 

One of the other two men who’d stepped out of the little bakery just after Iruka, chose that moment to unsubtly step directly in between Kakashi and Iruka while the other hung back. The stranger was about his height, maybe an inch or two taller, but broader. His wild, spiky hair helped make him look rough despite his kind face. His dark eyes were trained solely on Kakashi. “Can I help you?” he asked gruffly, crossing his arms over his chest. 

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, unimpressed with his attempt at posturing. “Not really.” He pointed just past his shoulders. “If Iruka isn’t too busy I’d like to talk to him for a minute.” 

“That depends,” he replied, “what do you want?” 

_ You’ve got to be kidding me.  _ Anko hadn’t warned him about Mr. Over-Protective, though Kakashi wouldn’t put it past her to intentionally leave out this crucial information just to watch him suffer. “Look-”

“Kotetsu, stop it,” Iruka said exasperated. He gently shoved the raven haired man to the side and gave Kakashi a quick, apologetic look before focusing on his friends. “Can you guys just give me a minute?”

The man, Kotetsu, frowned. “Are you sure, ‘Ru? Maybe just let Izumo stay with you?”

Iruka shook his head. “It’s fine. I’ll be in the car in a minute. Just let me handle this.” 

Izumo and Kotetsu exchanged worried glances before nodding. “Just a few minutes,” Izumo said firmly. He scowled distrustfully at Kakashi before grabbing Kotetsu by the elbow and leading him away. 

Kakashi watched them join two teenagers just at the corner, not exactly within hearing distance, but close enough in case Iruka needed rescuing. While part of him found it highly amusing that Iruka apparently had his own bodyguards, he also found it irritating that he’d have an audience for this. It was already nerve wrecking enough to be here, months after their last conversation, attempting to….well he wasn’t sure what he was doing exactly. Months ago he’d been furious and hurt: furious because he’d been stupid enough to think that Iruka was even remotely interested in a perpetual fuck-up like himself; hurt because some part of him really wanted it to be true. He didn’t know how this conversation would go, and he definitely didn’t want to rehash it all in front of strangers. 

When he looked back at Iruka, the young man was watching him warily. His arms were around himself, and his eyes were guarded. He stood far back enough to ensure that they wouldn’t touch. He certainly didn’t look as if he’d missed Kakashi at all in five months, as if he was happy to see him now. 

“I guess it was stupid of me to come here,” Kakashi said when it became obvious that Iruka wasn’t going to say anything. 

Iruka’s eyes flitted away and he shrugged. “It’s all right. Just unexpected.” The response was short and tense, not at all what Kakashi wanted. God was he an idiot. 

__ “Well,” Kakashi tried, offering a small smile, “I was just in the neighborhood and thought I’d drop by to say hi.”

“Just in the neighborhood, huh?” Iruka asked skeptically. He returned Kakashi’s smile though, so he’d count that as a win. “And Anko had nothing to do with that, I suppose?” 

“Of course not,” he denies. “Call it fate that I just so happened to drive by and see this delicious looking bakery and here you are coming out of the front door.”

Iruka huffed and rolled his eyes. “Are you high or something?” he laughed, finally looking at Kakashi again. He was curious, wondering why Kakashi would be here now, teasing him. Kakashi could tell by the slight tilt of his head, and the way he was chewing absently on his bottom lip. It was damnably cute. 

__ “No. But I wanted to see you,” Kakashi said. Honesty, he figured, was the best route to take here. There really was no other reason for him to be there otherwise. “I missed you.” 

The brunette seemed shocked by the confession. His eyes widened and he visibly swallowed. “O-oh.” His face tinged red. Again, Kakashi was struck by how alluring he looked, how plain, yet beautiful. 

“Yeah, I did.” Kakashi took a hesitant step forward, mindful that Iruka’s friends were still watching them. His heart was rabbiting away in his chest. “And I wanted to apologize.”

“Apologize? For what?” Iruka asked, brows furrowed in confusion. 

“For….everything I suppose,” he said. He looked away and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I wasn’t thinking when I kissed you that day. It was a mistake and it shouldn’t have happened.” 

Iruka made a small sound, prompting Kakashi to meet his eyes. The shorter man was scowling at him now. That had apparently  _ not  _ been the answer Iruka had been looking for.

“Un-fucking-believable,” he huffed with a strained laugh. “I can’t believe I-” He broke off and stepped back from Kakashi. “I need to go.” 

Kakashi was at a loss for what to say until he realized Iruka was already walking away. “Wait-uh- hold on a sec!” He stepped partially in Iruka’s path. “Iruka I-”

“You know, it’s so funny to me that you have to show up now,” Iruka bit out. “After five months I’d convinced myself that I would probably never see you again, and then you show up out of fucking  _ nowhere  _ to tell me that you missed me, but kissing me was a mistake?” He glared up at Kakashi, and the anger in his eyes was enough to make the older man take a small step back. “You want me to accept your apology? Fine. I accept. Happy now?”

“No!” Kakashi pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. This was not going how he’d wanted it to. Jesus, why was it so hard to have a normal conversation with Iruka? The man was irritatingly quick tempered, and its fuse seemed to be especially short for Kakashi. “Look,” he began, “I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that I shouldn’t have kissed you  _ at that moment.  _ Clearly I wanted to, and no, I don’t regret that it happened. It- it could have been better timed though.” 

Iruka crossed his arms over his chest and glared down at his feet. Kakashi waited with baited breath until he spoke again. “I didn’t regret it either, you know.” He peeked up at Kakashi through his lashes. “But I agree that it was poorly timed.”

Kakashi sighed in relief. Maybe he could salvage this attempt at making peace. “And I’m sorry for that. I shouldn’t have-”

“You don’t need to apologize Kakashi. You didn’t do anything wrong,” Iruka interrupted. “I was the one that….” 

He trailed off and both men stood in uncomfortable silence, remembering just what happened five months ago, the cutting words Iruka had said. Kakashi hadn’t been ready for the raw, aching feeling in his chest that accompanied his thoughts about the other man. It had left him bereft of the warmth and contentment that had gradually begun to settle upon him. He’d been lonely and resentful. In five months, although the wound had healed a great deal, it still stung to think about. Maybe it had been a mistake to come here. He wasn’t ready for this. 

“Yes, well,” Kakashi coughed to clear his throat, “that’s- that’s all I really wanted to say.”  _ Liar.  _ “I’m glad to see you’re doing alright.”  _ Coward.  _

Iruka raised his head then, eyes searching. “Yeah. You too,” he replied softly. He hesitated for a moment before stepping around Kakashi and hurrying to join his friends. Kakashi resisted watching him go. 

* * *

Iruka liked to think that he knew what he was doing with his life. Almost all of his decisions were obviously geared to protect and provide for Naruto as long as he could. They weren’t always the best for  _ him  _ personally, but he didn’t usually waste time regretting them either. This last year, however, he found himself bemoaning his past actions more frequently. Seeing Kakashi earlier that evening brought on a new wave of guilt and confusion. 

_ “I wanted to see you.”  _

But why? Iruka had wanted to ask, but couldn’t quite get the words out. He had been surprised the moment he’d recognized Kakashi standing just out of arm’s reach. Then surprise had given way to fear, fear of how the older man would behave, before settling on guilt. He’d hurt him, deeply, and he wouldn’t try to deny that. Kakashi should rightly hate him. 

_ “I missed you.” _

__ He shouldn’t. It didn’t make sense. After everything Iruka had said, there was no reason for Kakashi to think about him, let alone miss him. To date, there were few things that Iruka regretted more than when he’d hurt Kakashi. 

_ “You’re my client. Only my client.”  _

__ It had been the worst lie he’d ever told in his life. Iruka wasn’t sure  _ what  _ Kakashi meant to him, and he’d adamantly avoided thinking about it for five months, but the other man was definitely much more than just a client. That, he supposed, was the frightening part. Iruka was  _ careful.  _ These things couldn’t be half hearted and required a lot of thought. Any of his previous lovers, few in number, could attest to that. But something about those steel gray eyes made him lose all sense of reason, and that realization had frightened him at the time. It still scares him now. 

Iruka thumbed through his contacts, fingers hovering over the familiar yet hardly used number. In the brief moment that they spoke, Iruka felt it- a strange warmth in his chest and flutter in his stomach. He remembered the feel of Kakashi’s arms around him, their lips pressed together. In those few minutes Iruka had nearly lost all control, and he couldn’t afford to do that again. It didn’t matter what he might desire. Things were good as they were; there was no reason to add another variable to the equation. It would be better for everyone if he walked away and put a stop to things before they could start. And yet.... His fingers moved on their own, typing out the message and pressing send before he could change his mind. Iruka just hoped he wouldn’t add this to his list of regrets. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can clearly see, it's impossible for me to just let these two be happy together. At least they had a conversation without yelling or Kakashi getting slapped. :3 
> 
> As always, leave comments, suggestions, kudos and I'll see you lovely people next time!


End file.
